What Men Really Want: Insights from Ambiance Matchmaking (2025)
I recently met with Ambiance Matchmaking Founder Leslie Wardman to ask for some insight into the male psyche. She has interviewed more than 25,000 men over her 20-year matchmaking career and always asks them one specific question, “What are three characteristics that are important to you in a match?” She says there are commonalities between their answers, with physical attraction being the number one response. Keep reading to find out the top 9 important relationship factors for men.
ATTRACTION
Ninety percent of men’s first response was that physical attraction is very important. Leslie says attraction is the “clutch factor” for men: the one thing that initially draws them in, and keeps them thinking about a girl. Whether we like it or not, men are visual beings.
ACTIVE LIFESTYLE
Leslie says the majority of men she interviews at Ambiance Matchmaking are very sporty and enjoy being active. Therefore, they seek a relationship where they can share this type of healthy and active lifestyle. Plus, it’s fun to break a sweat together!
ENJOYS LIFE
Men seek women who know how to enjoy life and all of the nuances that life brings. Life can throw you curveballs, but the securement in knowing your partner will be a positive force by your side is invaluable.
LOYALTY
Men don’t want to expend unnecessary energy worrying about their partner’s level of integrity. Relationships are hard enough without these issues. Honesty, trust, and loyalty are the staples of any relationship.
SPONTANEITY
Boredom is deadly to any relationship. Men seek women who know how to be spontaneous, and as stated in number three, know how to enjoy life!
SEXUAL CHEMISTRY
Just as men are very visual beings, men are also very sexual beings. Sexual chemistry is very important in any relationship. It’s that level of intimacy that bonds couples together for the long haul.
FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS
Men seek women that come from a home where family relationships and values were taught and upheld. Possessing strong relationships with your family shows that you are capable of replicating these ties with your own family one day.
INTERDEPENDENCE
Men like to know their partner can take care of themselves. At the same time, men like to feel needed by their partner. Striking the right balance of interdependence is key.
DRAMA-FREE
Men steer clear of drama, and dramatic women become very obvious very early on in the relationship. Leave your drama at the door.